Blarney: Yes we can! Hope we can believe in! Change that matters! Organize for America!
Dave: What has you so worked up, Blarney?
Blarney: I am just so pumped! I just left a “Town Hall” meeting with the President. It was great!
Dave: What was it about?
Blarney: It was about health care reform. Wow! It was stupendous!
Dave: Really? What is the plan?
Blarney: I’m not really clear on that, but it will be great!
Dave: How do you know, if you don’t know what the plan is?
Blarney: No child will be without health care! Everyone in America will be covered! The current system is broken and he will fix it!
Blarney: Are you one of those right wing nuts that is opposed to health care reform? Why are you asking these obnoxious questions?
Dave: I just want to know what kind of change we are expecting.
Blarney: If you are happy with your current program, you can keep it! There will be no rationing! This will save Social Security and Medicare!
Dave: If everybody keeps their current plan, what will change?
Blarney: Well… Uh… People without current insurance will have lifetime coverage!
Dave: And who pays for that? Where is the money coming from?
Blarney: There you go, asking irrelevant questions. The GOVERNMENT will pay for it all.
Dave: And where will the government get its money?
Blarney: We’ll tax the rich, of course. We need to spread the wealth around!
Dave: Ok, let’s let that one go. Will this plan provide more medical personnel?
Blarney: What? Well… Uh… Why is that important?
Dave: Because if more people will have medical care than now, unless there are more doctors, somebody will have less.
Blarney: This plan will keep the greedy doctors from overcharging, so the money will go further.
Dave: That’s not the point. If currently each doctor is seeing as many patients as they can, who will take the new patients? Someone will have to lose their current care or we need more doctors. What is the incentive for someone to be a doctor if the government will cap their wages?
Blarney: We don’t need to worry about that. With more abortions and mandatory end of life counseling, there will be less children and less seniors to drain the system. If we can convince everyone to kill themselves after 65, Social Security will no longer be bankrupt. Medicare will be solvent. It is the perfect solution.
Dave: Unless, of course, you are 65. Why should 65 be the magic number, what about 60?
Blarney: Sure, even better.
Dave: How about 55?
Blarney: Now you are getting it!
Dave: Did you ever see Logan’s Run?
Blarney: No, why?
Dave: Never mind.