Dave, Blarney, Ann, and Jack

Blarney: Can you believe how insensitive those Marines are?

Dave: Which Marines? Jack Murtha?

Blarney: No, I mean these guys going around killing innocent civilians. It's just like in Vietnam - you know - My Lai.

Dave: Your lie? Glad to hear you admit it. I served in Vietnam, you know.

Blarney: Wow! I had no idea you were a baby-killer.

Dave: Baby-killer? No, Blarney, I have never performed an abortion in my life.

Blarney: Abortions don't kill babies, they only remove unwanted tissue. It's a woman's right to own her body.

Dave: Blarney, why do you call the "unwanted tissue" part of the woman's body when it will grow into a boy or girl that will exist apart from her?

Blarney: Because it is just a parasite, sucking the life from the poor mother.

Dave: Wow, Blarney, that's the first time you ever admitted you were a parasite. This is refreshing honesty.

Blarney: What are you talking about? I'm not a parasite.

Dave: Well, you are a former fetus. When you were a baby, your parents provided food, clothing, a shelter and all of your other needs. When you aged, you lived off their generosity. How do you support yourself now?

Blarney: I'll have you know my trust fund provides for me. It is MY trust fund, so there.

Dave: And where did you get YOUR trust fund?

Blarney: Only partly from the proceeds on mom and dad's life insurance. The rest came from the lawsuit.

Dave: So, all of it started out as someone else's money. And now it is yours. How do you define a parasite?

Blarney: I'll tell you. Someone like that Ann Coulter broad who picks on poor widows and grieving mothers.

Dave: POOR widows? They got more than $2,000,000 apiece from the government. That's a far cry from poor.

Blarney: What? My trust fund is only $1.6 million. It's not fair that they should have more than me! I'll sue!

Dave: {sigh}